How To Show Up When Life Feels Heavy

Welcome to Captivate and Close. I'm Kinsey Machos, business consultant and marketing strategist. And I'm going to show you how to attract and enroll high-paying clients using my break through online marketing strategies, all without having to rely on complicated funnels, disingenuous clickbait, or spammy sales tactics. These are the messaging marketing and selling secrets that virtually no one is talking about. So let's dive in. Hey, you welcome back to another episode. I'm so happy to be here with you today, I'm actually extra excited as I am in my same office. But with a new setup, I have been just shaking things up a little bit and wanting to get a new flow and rhythm in here. And also just feeling like I'm in like the transitional season of, you know, shedding some old and bringing in some new and sometimes that means just like staging that shit and, and rearranging and reorganizing and updating and all the things. So I am finally in my new desk. But here's what's so cool and so funny is that my old gasket was so thick, so beautiful, so big. And we actually got it out west elm. And it was like the first fancy real desk that I had bought. And I loved it so much, but it was so thick and bulky. And so much so that my mic arm couldn't fit onto I couldn't find a mic arm that would fit onto the edge. And so I would have to use a mic stand instead. And if you don't know what mic arm is something that like clips to the desk, and kind of gives you that overarch I don't even know what to call it overarch arm really, as an extension for your mic, so you can swivel it in and out. And it just is like so much easier and better for functionality. And because I couldn't use it, I had to use the mic stand, which I just hated so much. So I am here recording my first episode with the mic arm and it is the best. Isn't it crazy the things that we get excited about as creators, I love it so much. But on a lighter note of a much, much lighter note, in fact, maybe even a little bit heavier. I want to talk about how to show up for your business, how to show up online when your life feels hard and or heavy. This is something that I have dealt with many, many times. And I see my clients deal with it as well. And this is something that is absolutely prevalent right now with the things that are happening in Israel. And how awful and horrific. These circumstances are. I have really no words that could do it justice. But I am seeing firsthand some of my clients that are Jewish, that are impacted by these awful, awful things. And I again, I stumble over my words a little because I just don't even have the words that fit. And so I'm just gonna kind of speak through, speak from my heart here. But I'm seeing these women show up with so much bravery and courage despite just the horror that's happening over there. And it's been something that they're personally navigating right is like, I can't ignore the fact that this is happening over there. And for me to just show up and post about my business or share about a health tip or, you know, talk about this masterclass, it just feels so small or petty. And so I want to talk about that today. And it may not be necessarily something like that for you. But you will inevitably have a personal experience or something going through your life where it does feel really hard to find the words or it does feel really hard to have the courage to show up. You might have a relationship that's struggling that really just has is causing you deep pain. You might be you might deal with grief or loss. You might even be struggling with depression or anxiety and all of these things right? They impact how we feel about ourselves and how we see the world and what we think we should or shouldn't say online to continue to really, you know, create impact build a business that we love, and it's no doubt that your life and business is very, very overlapped. I think that you know, men might be a little bit better at compartmentalizing but I know as women especially as empaths we feel so deeply And there's just so many pieces, and overlapping in who we are and how our life impacts the life circumstances impact how we feel. And obviously, as a personal brand as you are the face of your business, if something isn't going well in your life, or you're not feeling 100%, or you're really struggling, this is when it just feels so challenging to show up. And so I've had a lot of questions come in regarding this. But to be honest, I've had this question come in so often, whether it's from you all your as listeners or clients, oftentimes when somebody hits something in their life, that is just a really, really deep personal struggle. They ask this question, how do I continue to show up online, and I personally have gone through so many seasons of this. And so I want to offer just some things to think about, this is something I don't have like a super stringent outline for this. And I have recorded us a lot of elements of this, because, again, I don't want to diminish the importance of what's happening in our world. And also, or also, like, diminish how you're feeling. And all of that is valid. All of that is, you know, important and necessary, in really acknowledging your feelings and those emotions and not turning away from your truth and the sadness and really feeling those things deeply. So I don't want this conversation to diminish any of that. What I do want to do is give you some things to chew on and think about in order to give you that courage or breath of life, that gives you that permission to continue to move forward in the way that feels true to you.

Kinsey Machos 7:00

While also still honoring all parts of your life. And I think that as women, this is our gift, is that, okay, we may not be able to compartmentalize, but when we have the empathy, and the emotional intelligence, to really bring that full truth to the market, and use our voice to create impact. I think that things this is when things really shift. So let's talk about just some things to think about. If you have ever been through a personal struggle, or something's happening in your life, that is making it really, really hard to show up. It's like, what do I say? How do I say this? Can I even do it? Now a couple of things is like, what I just noted is it is absolutely important to acknowledge your feelings, and that whatever you're going through, is something that you have to really honor and give yourself space for to fully process those emotions, and to really be with it and sit with it, I'm never going to tell you to ignore it or resist it or just move on anyway, that's not the message. I think that when we skip thing, when we skip over this process of like really letting our emotions process and being truthful with ourselves of how we're feeling. This is what creates more sadness, more anxiety, potentially more depression, this is what really creates even those explosions. On the other side, when you think about the anger, and bottling all of that up and not letting it really come through you. There's so much danger in that. And so it is really important that you acknowledge that you're in a season of pain. And you will give your space to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. And know that you can't force that process. I know that when I'm in a season like this, I can feel it, I know it. And as much as I want to control the timeline of which I'm going to come out of that or feel better. Again, I have zero control over the timeline. Sometimes it's longer, sometimes it's shorter, but all I can do is really take it moment to moment and be intentional with those moments. So you can't rush it, you can't push through it, but you can acknowledge it and you can give yourself the tools and the resources to really allow that motion to be processed. And give yourself that time and awareness to just be with it came on the other side of this. It is about really acknowledging the responsibility that you have as a business owner. And this message really is for the woman who either has a desire to have a full time business or is running a full time business and not necessarily as a passion project because for you I know that you desire to have have the income and impact that is going to blow through your like blow through whatever you used to think was unattainable like you are on a mission to achieve the unattainable, you have big goals for your business, you desire to have a team and impact. And that is a part of your vision. And part of that means really wearing the hat of a CEO. And as a CEO, we can't just not come into work. And I know this is going to sound so opposite maybe of what I was sharing before, but it's a blend of both. It's not either, or it's both and you can be sad, and you can feel pain. And also you can show up for your business came, you just have to acknowledge that I still have a responsibility to my business, to keep doing the things I need to do to move the needle forward. And sometimes that might mean doing the bare minimum and that is 100%. Okay, so what does it look like for you to do both? How do you allow yourself the space to process the emotion and care for your mental, emotional, physical well being, while also showing up for your business in the way that you need to to at least again, do the bare minimum. And you might have to decide what that bare minimum is, it's going to look and feel different for everybody. If you have a team and you're a little bit higher in revenue, and you have, you know, programs that are running, this is going to be a little maybe a little bit more, maybe it means getting a little bit more help, but you still have, right there's still responsibility there. Now, I have friends that also have large teams and have our operations in place so that they can step away way more than people that don't have teams or don't have systems. So it's again, assessing where you're at in your business, and what that looks like to show up and what's needed of you. So it's, again, acknowledging it's both and you can still care for yourself, acknowledge those emotions, and also show up for your business. Now, when it comes to thinking about even finding the words, I remember when the pandemic first hit several years ago, and I was guiding some clients at the time through that process, and they were really confused, the same thing. It's kind of like, how do I even show up online right now when the whole world is on lockdown, and it just feels so weird to talk about my program or share my content. And so if that's you, and again, you're always going to have season like this, whether it's externally like happening globally or nationally, there's, there's things that are going to sort of impact your your voice, right? Or even personally, right? I feel weird. Showing up as this this person that's happy and positive and opportunistic or whatever, when I'm like feeling. So do you like feeling pain so deeply? So either way, there's a couple of things to also consider within this. And I was just having a conversation with an agency client about this and like what it means to kind of find her truth in the balance of using her voice through the platform of her business impact, and also using her voice through the platform of the world impact and using her voice to really share the truth of what's going on. Again, it's not either or it can be both and, and so it's kind of getting into that it's kind of checking in with yourself to is like, first of all, what is the story that I'm telling myself, that's preventing me from even being able to use my voice? Sometimes we need to clear the clutter there before anything else. And sometimes that solves it all. You know, when I ask clients, this question about like, what are you thinking, that is wrong about sharing content in sort of this state right now, or sort of in the feeling that you're in now and oftentimes the story is, well, it would mean that I'm ignoring this, you know, XYZ insert circumstance or insert, life pain, whatever. And so you have to just be honest with yourself is like, well, is that true? Am I really ignoring this? Or is that just a story in my mind? The other component to this that is also really common, is worrying about what other people will think. Right? So I remember when the pandemic happened. And women were kind of, you know, figuring out well, is it okay to still say this when everything is going on? And oftentimes it was through the lens of like, will like what will they think Is it weird that I'm still talking about this even though and so sometimes just clearing that you know, clearing the what will other people think of me or clearing the This story is around what you think you should be doing, or what you think you might be doing, will solve or resolve a lot of the noise in your mind and give you a little bit more clarity of what that might look like to show up.

But the other component in regards to finding the words is asking yourself, How can I really be true to who I am as a person and what I believe in, and what's important to me, and still also carry the message of helping people do what I want to help them to do. And oftentimes, there's a huge parallel, there's a huge parallel with what you might be experiencing, personally, to the struggles and challenges that you help your clients with, and or even the dynamic of you struggling with something that is sort of a global impact, also, other people are struggling with. And as a leader, you have the platform to give a voice to that. And so it's almost like now more than ever, is your time to even elevate your voice. But it is also from the vein of amplifying your own truth. And not the real thing here. And I think that this is where the fear comes in is go, you know, it goes back to will what will other people think of me if I share this thing? Or if I share this connection? Or if I'm honest here? Will that trigger people? And yeah, it might. But guess what this is where you get to go deeper with your message and deeper with the audience that is best match for you and your personal brand. I think that through these tunnels have kind of like if you think about constructing your message, I think that these personal experiences actually do that. And that more constricted message actually pulls in a more potent audience. But then there's also the most important piece, or maybe not the most important piece, but a very important element to all of this and that no matter what is happening or what you're going through, there are still there will always be people that need your help now, later yesterday, tomorrow. And regardless of that, right, you have committed to showing them the way and delivering that message that's going to help them. And so it's going back to okay, what is how can I still show up for these people while also acknowledging right, these things that are happening in my life. Now, sometimes, we have to be careful about not sharing things when we're still in the thick of it, right? If we still are so wounded by our personal experiences, sharing it from that space can be a dangerous thing. But there might be elements of that, that you have moved through that you find yourself on the other side of that you can share, when it comes to something that you're connected to, from a national or global perspective, something that's happening in the world, and you feel very strongly about or it's deeply impacting you. I think it's 100%. Amazing to be vulnerable in that and share how that is impacting you. And the things that you're doing to move through that or be with it, and give again, give a voice to it. But it all goes back to this idea of like, okay, what is true to me? And how do I need to really show up in a way that I am a leader, you can tell the difference in people that show up just to power separate on pain versus those that want to illuminate their leadership in the pain that they might be experiencing. It's like the followers versus the leaders. And so when I was having this conversation with another client and asked her, you know, what does it look like for you to show up as a leader in this regard? And what would you say then, and it really shifted the lens, it shifted the type of conversation she was having with herself, and allowed her to move through that in a way that again, it's not that she's ignoring anything that's happening, or not feeling the feelings that she's feeling. But she's really allowing herself to still move, be a leader and amplify that voice to give a voice to beings that need a voice and also for the people that don't feel confident or safe to feel to really share their own voice. So don't forget that. It's not just about your quote unquote programs or your free masterclasses or your free products, right? It's about the platform you're using to change and everything that's happening in your personal life I believe is really going to transcend into your leadership and how it impacts you as a leader. So really take inventory of that. And notice how that's changing. And also just pause, pause to say, what would I be proud of? How can I be proud of myself for the way that I showed up through this pain through this circumstance? And what does that look like instead, sometimes making decisions from a really cloudy emotional place is not the best. And that's not sometimes anytime making decisions from that space is not good. And so it might mean just pausing and reflecting and kind of sitting with it. But there's no doubt that your people need you no matter what. And everything doesn't have to stop or come to a halt. When you feel like you're really personally struggling, it might shift how you write and what you write might be a little different. And also, it might be more potent. You don't have to share all the nitty gritty, you don't have to share all the details. But when you think about how can this help one person today, how can this message help one person tomorrow, that will also change the dynamic of that story. And then there are some times when there's no highlighting of the thing, it only means I'm just going to do bare minimum, I'm going to repurpose content, I'm going to write what feels the most simple right now I'm going to give a voice to the things I know to be true. And there's no emotion in that particular thing. It might mean that you have to really go in with yourself and move through this thing, personally, not everything needs to be shared. But it is about finding the courage to show up even when and honoring all parts of you, not one part of you, but all parts of you and making sure you're taking care of yourself from all aspects emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, that cannot be ignored. But you can do both, you can take care of yourself through those times, you can do what you need to do to fully move through those seasons. And you can also show up for your business and the way that you can look back and say I'm proud of myself for doing it. Even when you have to really explore what this might look like for you based on all of the variables, right, whether you're just going through a personal struggle in your relationship, or your kids or your mental wellness, or you're again, deeply impacted by something that's happening in the world, everything is going to play out differently. And the way that you experience it the way that you do or don't want to talk about it, and how that really infuses into your leadership as a an impact driven business owner. And you get to decide what that looks like for you. But definitely just pausing. And asking yourself those questions. And making sure you're giving yourself that space you deserve. But not feeling like you can't be truthful and authentic with yourself, even when you're showing up. If it means again, doing basic stuff that does not mean you're ignoring that does not mean you're not being truthful to yourself, you get to decide what that looks like for you. And you're really the only one that can decide that. So I hope this was helpful. I feel like this is just one of the biggest one of the hardest things as women and business owners is navigating life's ups and downs ebbs and flows. And also driving that consistency of our leadership online. And how that's going to impact you there is inevitable, it is going to happen many times over and you moving through it is going to give you that self trust over and over and over again, that you can do it. You can do it even when and really believing in yourself that when life gets hard, you can still show up. Alright, my friend, I am thinking of you and I honor you and I appreciate you for being here. I will say Hey, you, thank you so much for listening. It's an honor to be able to pour into the hearts and minds of like-minded entrepreneurs all over the world. But my most favorite part is being able to connect with you in real life.

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