The High Price of Following Your Dreams: What No One Tells You

Kinsey Machos: 00:01

I'm Kinsey Machos, your host and founder of the category Queen. Welcome to the podcast for coaches, consultants, and course creators who don't just want to dominate their niche, but they desire to play in their own league. My mission is to help you unlock the power of your unique brilliance and use it as a vehicle to gain recognition, reach more people, and make more money. Not too long ago, I took a bold leap, leaving behind a six figure corporate salary with nothing more than a used MacBook and a burning desire for more freedom. Today, our brand has become globally recognized, helping thousands of female founders to become industry leading experts. Join us each week as we go on a journey together to discuss mindset, marketing and money, and more importantly, the real life discussions about balancing success with motherhood and marriage.

Kinsey Machos: 00:56

Because we're a community of women who build and scale impact driven businesses, but do it without sacrificing the things that matter most to us. Welcome to the category queen show. Hello my fellow category queens. I'm so happy to be here with you today. I am currently looking out my window and just feeling so grateful for this beautiful day and such an amazing week. I hope you are feeling the same way, but if you're not, there is nothing wrong with you. And in fact, I want to talk about what it might look like for you to reconsider some thoughts, feelings, or even behaviors related to this idea of pursuing your current goals. If you're sort of feeling like you're in a slump, maybe you're even wondering, is this all worth it? Or close to even giving up this episode is for you.

Kinsey Machos: 01:55

Because I want to talk about what this really means to pursue your dreams and the fact that there are costs associated with that. So buckle up because I know that this conversation is going to give you some clarity and confidence to move forward in a direction that you know you will be proud of and that you don't have to look back and regret the decisions you made in really pursuing the things that you've been called to pursue. Now, before we get into the costs and what that actually means, let's talk about what it means to pursue a dream worth pursuing and a dream or a goal, whatever you want to place there as the word of choice. But when I think of this is really about pausing and checking in with yourself and asking yourself, what do you really want?

Kinsey Machos: 02:48

And this is going to evolve and this is going to look and feel different for every season of life. But I go back to even when I was feeling really burnt out in corporate and I started to have a bigger vision for my life, which didn't include being a corporate employee. It included having a business of my own. Now, at the time, I had no idea what that actually looked like, but I could picture and feel this other version of my life coming through. That allowed me to have more flexibility, that allowed me to run my own business, that allowed me to be more present with my family and have more fun in the work that I do, have more meaning in the work that I do.

Kinsey Machos: 03:28

And so in that context, that was, at the time, a dream, a goal that was worth pursuing for me. Now, as you grow and evolve, right? That next milestone is going to look and feel different for you. Right now, that might mean really reaching your first six figures. Maybe it's reaching your first seven figures. Maybe it's about a parts of a vacation that you want to take on or a dream home. There's all these elements of our life that we see for ourselves, but also need to give ourselves permission to desire. And I think that's really important because as women, sometimes I think that we might feel guilty or shameful if we are desiring something that we don't currently have.

Kinsey Machos: 04:23

But you can be in both a desiring state, meaning wanting something that you don't currently have, and also feeling so grateful for all the things that you already have. Those two things can absolutely coexist, and you are not a bad person for wanting more. And so where do you need to give yourself permission to really just claim the things that you want in your life or don't want in your life and allow yourself to pursue that. Now, this may also include health goals, or relationship goals, or financial goals, whatever that looks like. But take the time to really get clear around what you want and then unlock that for yourself. As far as what that might look like now, it's really, really important to not let your current circumstances dictate what your dreams are.

Kinsey Machos: 05:25

So if you're looking around and letting that determine what you can or can't have in your life, that means you're just settling. That means you're letting the things around you determine what's possible for the future of your life. And this is the problem that people get themselves into, is they look around them and use those factors to inform what they can or cannot do. I think about, you know, people that we all know of Michael Jordan, he got cut from his high school basketball team. Imagine if he let that dictate what was possible for him in his basketball career, right? He went on to become the greatest basketball player in history. Or JK Rowling, if you've ever heard her story, it's really incredible.

Kinsey Machos: 06:19

But she faced so many challenges as a single mother and marrying and divorce and raising kids on her own and getting denied, I think like twelve plus times with her original Harry Potter idea and still pursuing her goal as becoming a best selling author. So these are examples of people that despite what is happening around them, whether that's circumstances or challenges that are coming their way, they just keep going. They keep their eye on that future state and align their thoughts, feelings and behaviors to meet that, versus settling for the circumstances around them and letting that dictate what they can or cannot do. So it's really important that we expand the vision for ourselves. We expand what's possible and not look around us, but really dip inside of ourselves to ask ourselves that question, what do we really want?

Kinsey Machos: 07:22

With no limitations and going back to that permission of just allowing yourself to pursue. Now, another aspect of getting clear on your big hairy goals, your big hairy dreams, is making sure that they're yours and not somebody else's. And so just checking in with yourself and asking, you know, is this something that I think I need to do, or is this something that I feel like I need to check the box, or is this something that I actually want? Typically, when we don't cause and just check in with ourselves, like everything else, sometimes we can fall into the patterns of filling our time, expending our energy on things that don't really align with our values and or our vision. So an example of this would mean maybe you have this vision of this big business that you're wanting to grow and scale.

Kinsey Machos: 08:20

But part of that means giving up time with your family. And for some reason you have it in your head that in order to achieve this thing, right, this big business, that means I need to give up another thing. Well, likely that's because that's out of alignment with your values and you haven't allowed yourself to both and. Right, so you can have a big business. And also the constraint within that is that it's going to be within the parameters of how I want to live my life, how I want to see my family, how I want to be present with my family. And so even at the macro level, making sure that within that, you are aligning and staying true to what you want, your core values, and then your connection to it.

Kinsey Machos: 09:10

So a really good pulse check is to, again, just feel into your body. A lot of you aren't spending the time in just peace and solitude and checking in with your body. Your body leaves clues. And so if there's no emotional connection to your goals and dreams, then we have misalignment. There's a disconnect there. It means that maybe you are either putting a cap on yourself or again, you're chasing something that maybe is somebody else's dream but not your own. And typically, that emotional connection is going to be the driving force as you ebb and flow towards your dream, towards your goals, right? That emotional connection is going to be that anchor when it gets really hard. Because when you have that hunger for the things that you want in your life, that is going to keep you moving forward.

Kinsey Machos: 10:01

When, you know, some days you feel like giving up or some days you aren't really sure if it's worth it, but when you really just check in with yourself, you imagine yourself in that future version of your life, then you can know, like, okay, this is what I'm going through. This is part of that journey. So making sure that you have that connection to your goals, to your dreams. And the last thing that I'll say about getting clear on your dreams before we move into the cost is to let go of the need to know the how. A lot of us, me included, are type a and or control freaks. But really, it's sort of this perfectionism that keeps us safe, right? This perfectionism of, like, if I just know the plan and I can execute the plan, then I'm safe.

Kinsey Machos: 10:56

It's sort of this fear tactic around, or it's protecting you from the fear that you're actually feeling around your goals. But what happens is, I hear this all the time, is like, well, I want this thing, but I don't know how to get there. And so they just ignore the goal altogether. But you're not supposed to know the how. In fact, if you are too, if you're controlling the how too much, you will find yourself sort of gearing off path and not allowing the path to unfold in the way that it's supposed to. It's okay that things are not going to go as planned. In fact, they're just not. And so you have to be nimble and you have to be agile and allowing that surrender, which is so hard. I know.

Kinsey Machos: 11:41

Sometimes I feel like it's even a trigger word, surrendering to the how and allowing that to unfold in the way that it's supposed to along your journey. But don't let the not knowing the how distract you from or even deter you from really keeping your eye on the big things that you want. Now, let's talk about the actual cost of pursuing your dream. Now that you're clear and you've expanded that vision and you're not settling for, quote unquote, goals that you can achieve and you're actually shooting for the stars, what is the cost of that? Well, it's really simple, but also very complex in all of its nature. But the cost is really the willingness to let go of who you are to become who you aspire to be. I'm going to say that again.

Kinsey Machos: 12:32

The cost of pursuing your dreams is the willingness to let go of who you are to become who you aspire to be. It's really the cost of the current version of yourself. If you haven't heard me talk about this, you know, it's weaved in throughout so much of my messaging. But if you want to achieve things you've never done before, you have to become someone you've never been before. Now that becoming is really messy. And this is where people typically get all hung up and start to spiral out of control, whether that's emotionally, physically, or even financially, and either give up or just settle for the things that they already have. But the cost of who you are today is going to be essential to getting to that next level, because who you are today brought you to what you have today.

Kinsey Machos: 13:27

The results that you've achieved in your life, in your business, everything that you've created in your life up until this point was created from the version of who you are today. But if you want to go to that next level and you want to achieve new things, whether that is related to your relationships, your health, your finances, your mindset, whatever that looks like, that's going to require a different version of you. And when you think about the version of you, it's really a collection of your thoughts, feelings, behaviors.

Kinsey Machos: 14:00

And so if we start to really dissect who you are today in relation to your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and then who you need to become in relation to your goals and in relation to those thoughts, feelings, behaviors, now you have a really clear roadmap of what you need to start dialing in your life, in your business. And this is going to mean sacrificing comfort and familiarity. This is going to mean facing those fears and your deepest insecurities. This is going to mean sacrificing comfort and sacrificing what's familiar to you already. This is going to mean facing those fears and your deepest insecurities, also challenging your long held beliefs and habits that you may not even be aware of.

Kinsey Machos: 14:47

But you need to start bringing to the surface also embracing that uncertainty which we talked about in that surrendering and being okay with failing over and over again, while also investing the time, energy, and resources into that new version of you, into your dreams and your goals, and potentially even some of the needed stress within that. Right. We talk about stress like it's a bad thing, but if you think about some of these other components that stress is in, stress is a good thing. It's sort of like that concept around pressure. It's sort of like that concept of diamonds and how they're developed, right? They're developed under pressure.

Kinsey Machos: 15:28

Now, I don't want you to be stress balled all the time, but if you know how to regulate your nervous system and you know how to fail over and over again and pick yourself up, that's what it's all about. And you develop that resiliency that's needed in order to continue to journey on. But if you aren't doing these things right, what happens is we set a dream, we set a goal, and as soon as we hit adversity or we have a big failure, we see that as bad, and then we turn around. But those are the very things that are growing us into the person that we need to become for that next level. So you have to really take on all of those pieces as part of your pursuit, and you have to be okay with it.

Kinsey Machos: 16:11

And that's why I really challenge our clients to shoot for the moon, to expand their vision on their goals. If they're only working towards goals they know they can achieve, they're not growing. They're not becoming a bigger version of themselves. And so what's going to happen is they might have a little bump in results, but they're not going to really, truly experience that dream that they're in pursuit of, because they do not have the capacity to hold the responsibility that comes with that dream. And I see this all as part of that process, is growing you into that version that can truly take on the full responsibility of your dreams. Because a lot of times people are saying things like, well, I want seven figures or I want 10,000 followers, but you aren't a version.

Kinsey Machos: 17:01

The version of who you are today can't even hold capacity for that. Do you know how to manage seven figures in your bank? Do you know how to manage 100 clients? Do you know how to even steward 10,000 followers? Do you know how to steward a team of five in order to support your $5 million business. There's all these responsibilities that come alongside the dreams that we have in our heart. But if we don't grow into the version of ourselves that can hold that responsibility, that's where we fall short. So you want these things, you have to be willing to take on that responsibility as well. So let's talk about that old self that we're leaving behind. What do you need to let go of? What parts of you do you need to unbecome in order to get to that next level?

Kinsey Machos: 17:45

What are some patterns in your life or habits in your life that are keeping you where you're at? Where. What are some routines that you need to let go of? What are some relationships that are not serving you? What about social circles or some beliefs or self perceptions? Right? The key here is taking the time, taking that space to evaluate. So often we're just moving through the motions of our life, and we're not even aware of that operating system that's driving that. Do you even know what core beliefs are driving your current results? Have you studied your thoughts? We know that our thoughts create a reality, and yet most of our thoughts are made subconsciously, and so we're not privy to them. And if we are, if we're not aware of what's creating our reality, then how are we supposed to change a reality?

Kinsey Machos: 18:34

So you have to really come or bring that awareness forward and study yourself as an outsider looking in. If you were to look at your day from sunup to sundown and the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you embody throughout the day, what does that look like, and what do you need to leave behind? Now, what's so interesting in this? And I've been studying a lot about this because there's also some science related to this, but we are actually very emotionally attached to our current identity, which makes all of this so hard. Right? I'm talking about this in a very simple way, and yet it's such a complex dynamic when you think about becoming someone new and letting go of that old self. It's a lot. It's very emotionally heavy, if you will. And we are. We're very attached to our current identity.

Kinsey Machos: 19:32

And I heard Joe Dispenza say in relation to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that we currently have, but your body becomes actually addicted to how you've been operating. So if you have been normally operating from a state of scarcity or even misery, if you will, your body is actually very comfortable there. When you're not feeling that way, there's like an alarm that goes off, like, oh, something's wrong here. We're sort of stepping out of our comfort zone of what we're used to. And so we start to get into this survival state of, like, oh, my gosh, something's wrong. I need to sink back to what I'm familiar with. And this is why a lot of people have a hard time making changes in their life, is because they're actually addicted.

Kinsey Machos: 20:22

Even if they're not happy with the way their life is, they're addicted to it. So you have to make a conscious, intentional shift in really checking in with your body every moment and starting to get so clear on what you want to think, feel, and behave or do instead. For example, I see women all the time that are similar to where I was stuck in their career and starting to really dream and even implement their dream of starting their own business so they can walk out of corporate. But despite the passion for what they're pursuing, there is still this deep seated part of their identity that is really starting to sabotage their success. Right.

Kinsey Machos: 21:09

If you always have seen yourself as, say, a successful lawyer or a successful executive, that has become a part of your identity, and when you let go of that, there's sort of this feeling of nakedness. Well, like, who am I now? And the thought of even starting over can feel really daunting and even like, is this all worth it? Right? Which we question all the time apart, you know, along this journey. But if you think about all the components of your current life and how that's informed your identity and how you become attached to that, then you can start to see where the pain might come in when you're starting to pursue these new dreams and let go of parts of that identity, and that's okay. And also really normal as part of this process.

Kinsey Machos: 22:04

Another example of this, actually, I met a woman who really had this vision of being a motivational speaker and speaking on stage. However, she has always seen herself as someone that was, quote unquote, more introverted and also not very outgoing, which then also played into her public speaking anxiety. And so as she's wearing this identity as someone who is too introverted, not outgoing enough, and has anxiety around public speaking, obviously that is going to deter her from pursuing her dream of becoming a motivational speaker. But what would it look like for her to let go of those beliefs? Because that's exactly what they are. And this is what I want you guys to see for yourselves, is that these aspects of how you've seen yourself or parts of your identity are not fact. They're stories. And we can change those stories.

Kinsey Machos: 23:09

You get to decide what is true and what is not true in alignment to the thing that you want. And so for this woman, if she desires to be a motivational speaker, part of her process of forming a new identity for herself and letting go of that old self is shifting what she needs to believe about herself. That will get her a few steps closer to becoming a motivational speaker and starting to really ingrain that into her practices every day. Now, let's talk about the process of transformation. And it actually is kind of painful if we're really being honest. And I think that nobody prepared me for true transformation. And I think if I would have known ahead of time what it looked and felt like, I probably would have not self sabotaged so much. But it is what it is.

Kinsey Machos: 24:02

We have to learn the lessons that we need to learn. But once we have the clarity around what we're pursuing, what we need to let go of, and then the steps toward that dream and who we're becoming, there's going to be a transformation that starts to occur. And it's not all unicorns and rainbows. It's really uncomfortable. If you think about change, it's uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable, I imagine. Like, as you expand, you're starting to really stretch your limits, right? And if you think about even stretching, you know, I grew up a dancer, and now, of course, my daughter is a cheerleader, and so I'm around this a lot. But as they are starting to build their strength and also their flexibility, they are constantly pushing their limits in regards to those things.

Kinsey Machos: 24:54

And so if you think about even, you know, if you're on your. You're sitting on the mat and you've got your legs out, and the coaches are going around and, like, pushing their backs a little bit more. So to see how much further they can go to stretch those muscles, that freaking hurts, right? And if you think about even a really great workout and working out new muscles and how sore you are the next day, it's because your muscles are expanding. Now, the goal is to obviously have that strength and also notice that strength in your muscles. But the process of stretching those muscles and strengthening them is not always easy or even feel good. In fact, I don't ever remember the last time that I said, oh, this is really fun and feels good.

Kinsey Machos: 25:42

However, I will say that feeling sore is like, okay, this is good. This is a good sore, right? Because I know that I pushed myself another really great metaphor to think about when it comes to the transformation is the butterfly as they, or as their caterpillar and transform into a butterfly. That process is insane. The science and the actual components of that transformation are really, actually just miraculous, if you think about it. But all that butterfly has to go through, all the things that butterfly has to emerge from in order to become this beautiful butterfly. There is nothing pretty about that process. And so really thinking about transformation differently now, I don't want you to feel all gloom and doom about this, but. But it really does soften the journey, knowing that, like, okay, this is how it's supposed to feel.

Kinsey Machos: 26:41

Like there's nothing wrong with me, I'm not supposed to quit. This is part of the process. I'm not alone. These are the types of things that are going to really get you through when you are going through those bigger transformative phases. And typically as part of these transformational stages, there's likely things that you're either just starting with or building skills around that just suck. And you have to be okay with sucking at things before you get better. I think about as an entrepreneur, you have to build skills around marketing and selling. But at first, it feels very vulnerable having your first sales call. It's going to be awkward putting yourself out there on social. It doesn't always feel good.

Kinsey Machos: 27:27

There's all these things as part of what you're pursuing that you're going to be new at, and we have to be okay being new at them. Everybody starts from zero. Do some people have advantages over others? Sure. But if you want to give yourself a shot, you cannot worry about what your disadvantages or advantages are. You have to just stay focused on your journey and really moving through the muck in the most graceful way that you can. Through this process, there's going to be doubt. There's going to be insecurities that are triggered over and over again. There's going to be lack of support. And sometimes it's only going to be you that has your back, other than, of course, God, that's, you know, really holding you through this space.

Kinsey Machos: 28:13

But you will build so much resilience that as you get to that dream, that goal that you're pursuing, that worthy goal, it will be like a. It is just a no brainer. By the time you get there, you're gonna be like, oh, this is it. Right? Because meanwhile, you have been growing yourself and preparing yourself for this, that by the time it just is what it is now. Part of the overall cost of letting go of your old self and becoming your new self is also just these hidden costs of the day to day, the tactical level things, right? There might be some investments, there might be some long hours, potential sacrifices in other areas of your life, maybe more for the short term.

Kinsey Machos: 28:58

There's also that delayed gratification being okay with some short term losses for, you know, long term gains, and also really getting more clear of what you do need in your life versus what you don't need in your life to align with those goals and dreams. There's going to be that emotional and mental toll because as you're stretching your mind, as you're stretching your body, it's going to go under pressure a little bit, and there is going to be a little bit of stress. There's going to be anxiety. There might even be new feelings that you feel. But the more that you get comfortable feeling those feelings and stop resisting it, the easier it will be.

Kinsey Machos: 29:41

And in fact, in this process is where we come to know ourselves at the deepest level, because we are really just sitting into the most raw and real version of who we want to be. And really just, it's like nobody's coming to save you. You have to save yourself. And so there's this self trust that's getting built within this. And through that experience. I think for me personally, there's this beautiful love that I have gained for myself that has opened me up for more abundance in my life, in my relationships and my finances and my emotional capacity as a mom. So the byproduct of this transformation isn't just, you know, business. It's just sort of this incredible quantum leap into a new way of living that is going to feel so expansive if you allow yourself to sit into it.

Kinsey Machos: 30:45

And expansive doesn't necessarily mean that it's always, again, happy go lucky. But when you become okay being in those valleys, if you will, just as much as you are okay with being in those peaks, you will find so much more peace in your life. So how can you embrace the change with more grace and also just more perseverance? So you don't give up so you don't stall out. So you don't self sabotage. Let's talk about a few things. First of all, is really adopting that growth mindset. So somebody that's a little bit more growth minded versus lack minded is going to really see this journey as a one huge opportunity, even if it doesn't feel like tiny opportunities on along the way. And they're going to be able to really see through the adversity and know exactly that this is meant for them.

Kinsey Machos: 31:42

They're going to consistently reframe those challenges as consistent growth opportunities so that they can lean in and through that, developing that self compassion and patience. Right. It goes back to that self love. Do you love yourself enough to really pursue the things that you want in your life? And are you going to be compassionate with yourself? Right. If you're constantly beating yourself up and you're shaming yourself throughout the process, that is really what I think you missed the point, right? That is not what this is about. It's really deepening that self trust and that self love and learning how to be compassionate with yourself. Once you start to identify your own beliefs and your own patterns that you're trying to shift, it goes back to being patient enough with yourself, knowing that you're not going to get it right overnight.

Kinsey Machos: 32:32

If you have a bad day, if you have a bad week, that's okay. You're going to get right back on track and you're going to keep moving the needle forward. What I find is people get this big, they have this big breakthrough. They have this clarity of, like, what they want and what they're going to do to achieve it. They go balls to the wall for a week. They're clear on their, you know, 2.0 vision of who they're becoming. They're installing their new habits, and then they have a bad week and they're just, that's that. It's like, oh, what's the point? Know that this journey is not going to be perfect every day. And when you have the bad days, it's just about bouncing back from them and continuing to go forward.

Kinsey Machos: 33:13

When you, though, really get clear and hold that accountability, hopefully with a mentor or some sort of coach, but with yourself, then you can have more of these checkpoints throughout maybe your day or your week, right? And you can start to even develop the habits or the habit stacking so you're less likely to drop back into your old self. Let's say that you really have extra time at night that you need to preserve for your business, but that Netflix series is really calling your name. How are you going to develop the discipline to say no to Netflix and, you know, 1 hour of work instead? And what's the accountability structure that you have within that? Maybe it's even adding in more exercise in your day because you're not putting your health as a priority as you're building your business.

Kinsey Machos: 34:08

And so what habits do you create throughout the day to ensure that you're doing that maybe it's a calendar marker. That's like going for a walk. Maybe it's asking your spouse to hold you accountable for morning workouts, whatever that might look like. But where can you bring in more accountability and structure on these little things? And what I really want to share with you here is that it's never about these big, massive changes that are going to create the big, massive results. It's the small little things that add up day over day that actually contribute to those big results. So don't feel like you have to completely overhaul your life. This is really about looking through your. Looking at your life in sort of a microscope or a micro lens and deciding what needs to shift.

Kinsey Machos: 34:58

What small things can you shift that will contribute to those bigger results in the long run and just keeping yourself accountable to those shifts. Another component of really making sure you're supported through these more, you know, transformational stages and just your ongoing journey is learning how to regulate your nervous system. Bring more mindfulness into your day to day and also that self reflection. So if we're just constantly moving and we don't even know how our actions are impacting our results or what is actually happening, right. It goes back to those subconscious thoughts that are actually driving most of our results, but we're not actually aware of them. There's nothing that can change for you. So you have to build in the time, at least each week, to have that self reflection. How are you doing? Where do you need to shift?

Kinsey Machos: 35:49

What needs to change? Where are you winning? And how do we consistently, again, just turn the dial just a little bit more to keep aligning to that big picture vision. I will also link up to the episode I did around regulating your nervous system. Because as you have increased feelings of stress and anxiety that comes along with pursuing these big goals and dreams, instead of giving up because you're, quote unquote, too stressed, you have to learn how to manage the stress. You also have to learn how to manage the anxiety. How do we be with these feelings? How do we shift these feelings, knowing where they're actually coming from? Because they're likely not coming from where you think they're coming from.

Kinsey Machos: 36:31

And so the more that you learn about yourself, the more that you learn about your body and your mind, the more you can manipulate it towards the things that you want. As a side note, I actually have been feeling this desire to push myself more physically. So I've been using or doing the same gym routine for the most part. I just signed up for a new gym. That's more circuit training. So that's good. I feel like I don't push myself as much as I should when I am alone working out, and really, again, just feeling compelled to take my body or my physicality to that next level. And I remember, you know, three or four years ago when I was training for my first half marathon. Mind you, I have never considered myself a runner. Right? There's that identity.

Kinsey Machos: 37:16

And, in fact, I never really enjoyed running. And so people would be like, why the heck are you doing this? I'm like, because I really want to stretch myself. I want to push myself. And that was one of the most rewarding experiences that I ever had from a physical perspective, and I've missed that. And so I've been talking about doing a triathlon. And it's so funny because I'll ask people, I'm like, will you do it with me? And I'm going to sign up. This is my accountability that I will sign up, but I've also been looking for people to do it with me just for that extra accountability and fun. But most people are like, oh, no, I could never do that, or, I'm not a swimmer. I could never do that. Or, oh, my gosh, that does not sound fun.

Kinsey Machos: 37:54

And I'm like, that's exactly why I'm doing those things. I'm a terrible swimmer. Nothing about that sounds fun, especially if I think about training for it in the thick of the summer. And there's no part of me that if I look at my current circumstances, that would say, like, oh, I can definitely do that other than my mind just allowing me to go to that future state. And so I'm excited about this new challenge. But that's a perfect example of this identity piece of what we're currently wearing versus what do I want to shape myself into. And knowing that will, if you are setting meaningful, dream worthy goals, you should be afraid. You should be afraid. There should be a little bit of fear in there, because if not, it means you're just settling for comfort.

Kinsey Machos: 38:46

And I talk about this, or I've been talking about this a little bit in my closer circle because I've even been going through a change. And, you know, a while ago, I was kind of thinking, like, is this all worth it? And I shared in a previous episode around this idea, like, maybe I just want to be a stay at home mom and really exercising or playing with that idea. But I realize that when I am not pushing my potential and pursuing the things that I want to pursue, that is hard that is a really hard place to be in. And also, it's out of alignment with my true self and my true desires, and I'll take the heart of pursuing something worthy versus the heart of not pursuing any day.

Kinsey Machos: 39:36

I think it's way harder to settle for status quo than to take on the challenges that come, you know, with pursuing what we actually desire. And when I was giving that contrast to myself, I realized, like, okay, I'm okay continuing to take on these challenges that come alongside of my big business goals, because the alternative is not pushing myself and my potential and stepping into my true desires. And I want to optimize for that other hard. Right. Which hard do you want to optimize for? Is it hard staying where you are, or is it hard accepting the challenges of where you want to go? It's likely the latter, but really putting that in that context can help you decide, because we all have a choice. We don't have to be doing this, but it's in our blood, right? When we are.

Kinsey Machos: 40:32

When these dreams are placed on our heart, there's a reason for that, and we should not ignore it. And so are you willing to accept the costs of pursuing your dreams? Are you willing to go after the unimaginable? Are you willing to be sort of the unicorn that is going to continue to go after all the things that you want in your life, even if your circumstances might be telling you otherwise? That that's a. That's possible for you? I'm telling you, this journey is the amount of growth that happens alongside of that. And the byproduct along the way is. Is also way more rewarding than the actual goals themselves.

Kinsey Machos: 41:21

And that's what I've come to really sink into is, like, all these little micro benefits along the way and really seeing what's possible for you and what you're capable of in this journey of pursuit. It is so rewarding, again, so much more so than the actual destination. And when you see it that way, you're just so much more equipped to take on the things that are headed your way. And knowing, okay, this is going to sting a little bit, but I'm 100% up for it, and I know what I'm taking on. I know that I need to grow into a new version of myself and let go of that old self and that transformation. It's going to be messy, but oh, my goodness, would you have it any other way?

Kinsey Machos: 42:06

So I hope this episode really inspired you to dream bigger, to be okay with the adversity that comes alongside of that and to give yourself permission to go after what you want despite anything else in your life and really staying consistent with that vision. Who do you need to become? What do you need to let go of and remind yourself of that every single moment of your life and embrace all that is coming to you? All right, my friend, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you loved it, would you mind just sharing it with a friend that would love to hear this message as well? And even if you're compelled, share it on Instagram, tag menzimachus. Let me know you're listening. I always love, love it when you guys share.

Kinsey Machos: 42:52

And it is truly my honor to be able to really just plug in to your life in any way that I can. And I hope that you really take this message and run with it. All right, my friend, I will see you next week. Hey, if you're ready to stand out online and get paying clients consistently without having to fumble your way through tech run ads or create complicated funnels, I want to invite you to join us in the category queen school, where you're going to learn my simple, proven formula for getting clients online. It's risk free. You either make your money back or we'll give you a refund. Just head over to kinseymachos.com/theCQschool and join today to get instant access. We'll see you inside side.