Becoming A Category-of-One #2: How To Think Like A Thought Leader

I'm Kinsey Machosyour host and founder of the category queen. Welcome to the podcast for coaches, consultants, and course creators who don't just want to dominate their niche, but they desire to play in their own way. My mission is to help you unlock the power of your unique brilliance, and use it as a vehicle to gain recognition, reach more people and make more money. Not too long ago, I took a bold leap, leaving behind a six figure corporate salary, with nothing more than a US MacBook, and a burning desire for more freedom. Today, our brand has become globally recognized helping 1000s of female founders to become industry leading experts. Join us each week as we go on a journey together to discuss mindset, marketing and money. More importantly, the real life discussions about balancing success with motherhood and marriage. Because we're a community of women who build and scale impact driven businesses, but do it without sacrificing the things that matter most to us. Welcome to the category Queen show. Hello, my friends, welcome back to another episode, I'm so happy to be here with you today. We are in the middle of a Snowmageddon here in Idaho, we are on our third snow day. And so I'm just squeezing in some work as we are balancing all the things, it really is pretty, I'm looking at my window right now. And I can we really do have so much snow. And it's great. It's really pretty. But you know, all these little curveballs, they definitely just throw a little bit of a loop in our schedule, especially for me someone that I just thrive on routine, I feel like we haven't really had a routine since before Christmas. And I had all these amazing hopes of kids going back to school, but they have hardly even gone back to school after break. So here we are, I am really just enjoying it. And really just embracing the snowy season. And if it's going to be cold, it might as well snow. So here we are, let's dive into the topic of conversation today, which is a second part of the overall series of becoming a category of one. And it's all related to how you think, and what it means to be a thought leader and what that actually looks and feels like if you miss the first episode of this series, you can definitely go back to that after this episode. Although they do build on each other. There won't be anything that you can't really like sink into into this episode without hearing that first one. So if you haven't caught it yet, go back after you listen here, it is really sort of just setting the stage for what does it actually mean to become a category of one? Why is it crucial to your success online, and some really specific examples in what that might look like strategically or tactically. But today, what I want to talk about is really my most favorite thing to talk about, honestly, aside from the actual tactics or strategies is the core fundamental to success in your life or your business, which is really surrounded around this idea that it is not about, really what you do, or what you have. It's all about who you're being and who you are. And most people spend their life really chasing the having or the doing without really understanding that that doesn't matter if you're not in alignment to where you're going and who you need to be in order to get there. And you'll hear me talk about this so much if you haven't already. And I think that maybe some of you might be rolling your eyes a little bit right now, because this is something that's so anchored into the core concepts here at the category queen. But I know one of the things that happens is sometimes you can hear the same thing over and over again. And there's some times just the moments or even the context, that it just hits differently. So I'm never going to stop saying or sharing the importance of the being peace within this. But if you haven't already heard me talk about the be do have concept. This is something that is going to completely shift. It's going to shift how you show up in your life, how you show up in your business and how you go about achieving your goals. So I'm going to talk about what that means. I'm going to talk about what it means to be a thought leader and some things for you to consider. Whether you're just getting started or you're further along in your journey, I know that you're going to have so many things to really pull or really dissect and walk away with some really key tangible items. So you can truly step into the thought leader that I know you're meant to be. And really at this point, it might even just be for you to believe that for yourself. So let's talk about this idea of B do have because what I Want to sort of unpack is this idea of like what you think you need in order to be a category one, or what you think the prerequisites are to be considered, you know, industry leading expert, because it's really easy to compare yourself to other people that you consider, you know, experts in your industry and see a huge gap between you and them. And it's also really, really common to get sort of wrapped up into the doing without really understanding who you're being during the doing. And so I love to share the B do have model which was so impactful for me when I first heard it like three or four years ago. And it's one of the something that we go deeper in, even in our core teachings in the category Clean School. And it's really a core pillar of how I live my life. And it's this concept of living, from the outside in versus the inside out. And if you think about have do beam, and even in the context of I need to have a certain amount of testimonials, then I will try to get clients and that's when I'll be the expert, okay, that's kind of like a hub doobie. Once I have these things, then I'll do the thing, then I'll be the thing, okay, it's also saying something like, once I have more followers, then I'll really start to, then I'll start to do the things they need to do to get claims, then then I'll make money, or then I'll be successful, right? It's really a reverse engineer of sort of taking a result you want. But thinking or aligning that to something that is actually just a thought, that is not true. And so what happens is people spend a lot of time spinning, they think they need to have these certain things, which will then be the precursor to doing the things they need to do to create the success they want, which are then that that creates, right who they want to be, but it's really the opposite. It's so so backwards. And I really want to encourage you that if you're recognizing like, oh, my gosh, this is totally, this is how I'm living don't like no judgment. And we all this is, I believe, is kind of a default mechanism, this is always going to be our default, I think until you really train yourself to do it. So it's automatic, but even then you're gonna find yourself sort of just catching, it's like, oh my gosh, like, I'm totally like letting external things drive my internal behavior, I think this is very, very common to in relationships is, you know, thinking that the other person needs to change in order for you to be happy in that relationship, or thinking that there's any sort of external circumstance that needs to change for you to get what you want. That is what it means to live from the outside in, and really from the Hab do be, and that is a really powerless state to be in, because you're basically putting your life your results, your desires in the control of other things or other people.

Kinsey Machos 8:21

And so we want to take your power back. And it's time to really take full responsibility for what you want and who you need to be in order to get there first. And when we flip that on its head and we go from have to be to be do have this is when things really, really start to shift for you. And you create full control over your experiences in life. Now I'm going to be able to connect all of this right I want to go back to the core topic, obviously, of how to think like a thought leader and what that means. And but this is really teeing this up. And I think that it is so profound, that whether you are feeling stuck in your business, or even feeling stuck in your life, this is something you can carry with you every moment. And so if we live in the B do have this is what will give you so much more clarity around a not just what you need to be spending your time doing, but also be who you need to be in order to get to where you want to go. And it allows you to ask yourself such better questions and solve for better problems and keep you focused on the things that are actually going to move the needle in your business. And so if we go back to tying it into even what you think you need in order to be a thought leader in your industry, what you think you need in order to be a category one, it might sound something like this, you know, I need more testimonials or I need more years of experience or I need to be making a certain amount of money. Right again, that's Like, externally, I need to have these external things in order for me to validate myself as the category expert. And what we're doing is we're actually flipping that. And what I want you to ask yourself is, who are you as a category expert already, and when we start to place ourselves in that future, right, so I want you to imagine yourself, you know, one year from now, let's say you are, you are very clear on your goals. And you, by the end of the year, you have a certain revenue goal, your business looks a certain way, I want you to put yourself at the end of the year. And I want you to imagine that you've already achieved the things that you're setting that you're setting out right now to achieve, you're in that state, you're in your, your, the body of your future self, and who has already created the results that you desire to create. That's the person that's the person that we want to be able to emulate as much as possible in the present state, the more that we can meet ourselves in the future and bring that forward and be more of her. That's when results are going to come. And we talk about this in several episodes ago, we did some even a future casting and things like that. So we'll link up to that because we go deeper into even this, it this truly is like if you want to close the gap between where you are and where you're going. This is it. Most of people are just again, letting all the external circumstances, not just drive their actions, but drive how they make decisions, you have to understand that who you are today created the results that you have today. But the results you want to create are going to be created by a version of you that you haven't met yet. And so we need to keep getting into Who is she? How is she making decisions, and we need to be more of her first that that is going to drive Okay, from that beam state? What is she doing? What types of things is she doing in her business? How is she making decisions, right, and then that's going to drive you to the having that is going to drive you towards the success that you ultimately want. That is what it means and looks like to live in the be to have state but again, it's a constant shift, you're going to find yourself always looking at like, well, I don't have the money. So I can't do this thing. Or I don't I'm, you know, I don't have enough experience that so I'm going to pull back or I'm going to shrink or I'm gonna play small, that's just going to keep you where you're at. And so instead of looking outside of yourself, to determine what you are, or what you have, what we need to do first is become the version of you that's already created the results that you desire. And then from that, that space, that's where we start to drive. Okay, what types of things do I need to be doing in order to create the results that I want to create, and it's all in that energy of that future version of you. Now, it's really uncomfortable, there's going to be cognitive dissonance. Obviously, you haven't met that version of you yet. It requires you to think differently, it requires you to behave differently, it requires you to break some patterns. But this is what it means to start to elevate your thinking because the truth is, when you think about a thought leader, and becoming the number one in your industry, it's really again, not necessarily what you're doing, but the being of you the who you are and who you're growing into. And I want to just offer that if you were to release sort of this idea that other things or other people determine your status status in this instance, would be you as a thought leader. If you allow other things, other people to determine that status, you will always be at the mercy of other people's opinions, which is not a good place to be. It's a place that brings so much lack and judgment. And it is not any of our business what other people think of us. And so I just want to offer to you what would it look like for you to actually believe that you're already a thought leader in your industry? What would that look and feel like? And who are you being as a thought leader? It's not about what you have, or you don't have, but it's who you're being? What types of decisions are you making? How are you showing up? This is why when I get the question all the time of especially when we're teaching content or you know, specific sales strategies or even launching strategies, we get the question around like wool. I don't have I'm just getting started. I don't have a lot of time. testimonials. Yeah, I'm just beginning like, what do I even talk about. And, again, that is looking, that's another really good example of like looking outside of yourself to determine how you want to who you want to be and how you want to see yourself. And the truth is that you're not just because you are just getting started, maybe as an entrepreneur or as a coach, you're not a beginner in life, like you weren't just born yesterday, you have years decades worth of wisdom and experiences and knowledge. And when we can get out of that, like beginner energy and really elevate how we see ourselves, that's going to change how others see you as well. Right? It really is, a mirror, how you see yourself is a direct reflection of how others are going to see you. So we really have to elevate our self concept, what we believe to be true about ourselves, what we want to focus on in ourselves, what we want to let go in on ourselves, and that is a constant infinite evolution. self concept is something that you will continue to build right your identity. And as you take quantum leaps, or as you find yourself in a rut, or as you are in sort of maybe even more of an inner you know, growth transformation, there will always be this beautiful ebb and flow of you know, shedding old patterns, shedding old beliefs and stepping into a new, and a lot of that is going to feel messy. But if we kind of tie it back to your self concept in relation to being a thought leader, I just asked the question, why are you not assuming that you maybe you wouldn't consider yourself a thought leader yet? Why are you not already seeing yourself as a thought leader. And from there is a really beautiful opportunity to close some of those gaps, it's likely that you are looking externally for that validation, to determine or to say, who you are and who you aren't. But let's talk about really what a thought leader is. And I think it's always helpful to get definitions here, in relation to some of these like buzzy words kind of concepts. But the how I how this how the dictionary defines thought leader is a person whose views are taken to be authoritative, and influential, right? So really, obviously, that's pretty straightforward, right? If you think about driving influence, and somebody that is an authority in their given field, that's exactly how I see a thought leader. And when we think about even somebody that drives influence, you may have not even asked yourself the question, what is influenced me to me?

What does it even mean to me to be an authority in my space? So if you think about what does that mean to you, aside from how people define it, or how the dictionary defines it? What does that look like to you? And also, why is it important, that's most important is determining for you. Why is it important for you to be seen as a thought leader in your industry, and when we can anchor in that deeper, why you will unpack have so much more gold in relation to sort of that foundation of like what's going to drive you forward. Because if we're always living in this abstract or conceptual thinking of what it means to be an expert or a thought leader, then we don't actually bring it down some tangibility and a roadmap for ourselves to actually create that. But you get to decide what that looks like. You know, I think that the minute that you can see yourself as a thought leader, and you close any sort of distance between who you are in comparison to other people you idolize, when you close the gap between that and there's no like hierarchy of like, you're here and this other person is up here, you will immediately your energy will shift, you immediately become so much more magnetic, because you are leveraging all of you, you're really you're you're drawing more of you and your your thoughts, your energy, your boys, your beliefs, you're drawing more of that in and bringing that to the market versus who you are aren't in comparison to other people. And so, I think it'd be a really good place for you to start is to define these things for you. What does it mean to you and also why is it important that you be considered a thought leader in your industry? But if you think about Eve In the title of a thought leader, it's thought. And it's so fascinating because majority of people just don't spend enough time studying their thoughts and changing them in alignment to what they actually want to create. And if you want to be a thought leader, that means you have to elevate the way you think. Which goes back to even write, BE, DO have or have to be, are you living from the X? outside in? Are you letting things drive how you think and feel? Or are you controlling how you want to think and feel and letting not drive you forward? Elevating how you think, is a skill. And it's another element of the the growth journey that is literally infinite. But if you are not in tune to the thoughts that are going on in on your head, and how that's impacting your behaviors and your results, that is the first step here is to become more aware of how you think and what you're thinking. Because it might be that you're on autopilot, and you haven't even taken the time to really assess, how are these certain thoughts playing out in my day to day? And how is that impacting the results that I get? And it's a really good opportunity to literally challenge everything, everything that you believe to be true about yourself, about making money, about success, about getting clients online, challenge everything. Really be curious to all the thoughts that you have. An example of this would be something like, Well, I'm just to be a beginner. I can't be seen as a thought leader yet. Right? Well, who said, Right? There's no, that's not a fact. That's a thought. And the minute that you can discern what thoughts are versus facts, you will change your life because we have worn stories as truth for decades sometimes. And the minute that we can see that they're stories, and they're not fact and it's not truth, and we can change those stories. That's the minute that you immediately start working towards the results you actually desire and becoming that more potent version of yourself the more authentic version of yourself, the thought leader. And so let's talk about what is it? What does it even mean to be a thought leader? Okay, I understand I mean, to elevate my thinking, but what does that mean? And it goes, it ties back into what does the thought leader mean to you? And how can you start emulating that part now. Because if we were to live into the be do have model, it's not about what you have or what you're doing, it's who you're being first. That's the first step to all of this is really understanding the characteristics and the energy that you're sitting in. With the thought that I am already a thought leader. That's the first step. Some of you I likely most of you haven't even acknowledge that you can decide to be a thought leader today. You can decide to be that person today. What does she do? What it How does she behave? What is she thinking? And that's what we want to start to unpack. So if you believe that a thought leader is somebody that exudes confidence, okay, how can I really exude more confidence within my writing within my speaking, if you if you believe that thought leaders to you a thought leader means really creating impact? Okay, let's let's be somebody who creates impact. Let's be somebody who helps people through our words through our programs through our services. So you have to get clear on what does that look like for you in the beam, right. So if we understand all the phrases, all the things that come to mind under the be, then we can start really addressing the doing. But we can't do them in the opposite order. We can't say this is what I need to do in order to be a thought leader, because again, that's living from the outside in, you're giving your power away to things that you cannot control. So if you were to step into more of that version of you, as a thought leader, getting clear on what that means to you, then we can get into the doing. Right. So if you believe that being a thought leader is somebody who is impactful and influential, then we need to step into that energy today. What is an impactful and influential leader doing? And I think that that in itself is such a gift because so many people online right now are so just wrapped up into the vanity of social media and it's like, you know, I need more followers. I need better hashtags. I need to be making more money first, like all the external vanity of what has become of social media and letting not drive their decisions and what they're doing. And so it's just the constant spiral. Because if you believe you need more followers, in order to be successful, that's just going to have you doing things to grow more followers, but that's not actually going to likely bring you to the ultimate result, which is what you want, which I think is probably something to the extent of helping more people and making more money.

And same thing goes for being a thought leader, what you believed to be true about who a thought leader is, and what they does, may need to be challenged. And this is really the most simple way to do it for yourself in alignment to be do have, so we really understand, Okay, what does this mean, to me? What Who are they being? Who am I going to step into? And what are the things that they're actually doing? What are the daily activities, again, that the easiest way to kind of bring this even to less of an abstract concept is to think of yourself at the end of the year, achieving the thing that you've already are already having achieved the thing that you're working on achieving. So maybe it's a six figure business, maybe you need to look out a little bit further to expand your thinking, maybe it's three years from now, maybe you need to step into even more of an impossible goal, right? What is a million dollar earner doing? And step into her? How is she showing up as a thought leader? What is she exuding? What is she being and what is she doing, and that's going to help you really wear that skin and practice being that version of you, and taking the action you need to take to complete the thing that you would like to complete. So we have to get clear on that first for ourselves, reverse engineer have to be to be do have get clear then on that roadmap, because that gives you the roadmap, right? Because if you are clear on who you need to be right, first, and then you from that space, start to unpack the doing. That's the roadmap. And that is going to keep you on course. But if we could revert back to old thought patterns, and old stories, that's going to keep us where we are, that's going to keep us small. And it's going to create more distance from who you are today and that version of a thought leader that you would like to become. But I think it's really important to really understand that. Aside from this really, like conceptual identity piece in thought leadership. What I really want to drive home in this conversation is also the fact that thought leaders are not afraid to take a stance, if you think about people that are leading the industry, and they're doing big things, accomplishing big things. They stand for something, they understand that their thoughts, they understand how to translate their thoughts in a way that's compelling, right, which is communication, everything we unpack in the category Queen school, it's it's not just about the content you write, right? It's really how good of a communicator Are you whether it's written or spoken. And it's the communication of your thoughts in a way that's compelling, driving people towards right influence. So it's influence it's driving authority, using your quote unquote, power for good, and allowing yourself to really stay true to who you are, what you believe, and how you're going to drive change. Thought Leaders are not waffling, right? They don't, they don't let haters or contrast, really, you know, stray them away from their core message, and their core beliefs and their story. And that's what I really want you to also unpack in addition to the B do have is also what do you want to say to your audience? What do you want to stand for? What is your mission? And how can you double down on that? That is what it means, in my through my lens of thought leadership. And I think about even studying all the thought leaders across the spectrum in the industries, all industries, they say they're standing for something, they're bringing their most magnetic self forward and not afraid to speak the truth in relation to what they what they believe is going to be the change agent for their people. And that's what I want you to sit with. And this is so beautiful, because now we can get out of the weeds of these really irrelevant then low level conversations around the size of your following or how many testimonials you have or don't have, or thinking that you need to wait to be that most magnetic self, that you already are, right? There is no waiting until it is not. If I have this, then I'll be successful. It is who are you today? Who do you need to be to day, right to align to that future state and starting to embody more parts of that future version of you that thought leader right now and really getting to know more of her. That's really what it comes down to. And so if you think about even the energy within that, right, thought leaders are magnetic, right? It's because they have this really saw, it's this gentle, but powerful way of influencing people with the understanding right of them selves. And that is really all of entrepreneurship, it's really just a what do they say, a personal growth plan, with a with a salary attached to it, because you're just going deeper with you and what you want to be believed to be true about yourself, and letting go of all the old stories or old baggage that do not serve you anymore. And so in the category Queen school, we have a framework for you to really unblock and unpack here, because it can feel a little, again, like abstract, but you at least know from here, what to start to dissect in relation to be do have, who you're being what they're doing, right, that version of you what they're doing, what they're focusing on the decisions they're making, and how that's going to create the results you want. But also to start thinking about that conviction, what do you want to stand for, and there is nothing that you should be waiting for, to stand for that now and bring more of that message into your marketing into your content. And really, forgetting sort of all the external drivers of what you think needs to be in place in order for you to show up as a thought leader to date, that is a very magnetic energy, when you have that self competence, and you build that self concept of a thought leader. Like, again, regardless of what's happening around you, that is where we close the gap and really, really start to show other people a new, more magnetic of ourselves and start to move our results faster, we get to them faster, because we're in that be do have state. So this is really important, because I'm sure you've heard it's, you know, kind of like a 9010, like 90% of our results come down to mindset 10 percenter strategy. I've also seen the 8020 split. Either way, we know that the majority of your results are created in the mind. And so you cannot have a really awesome strategy. If you think about even what we're going to continue to uncover in this series from a more of a strategic level, even if you took that and ran with it, but you're still thinking, all these things about yourself, and you're letting external circumstances drive who you really were created to be and how you want to show up, right, the strategy won't work. And so set the stage here, really set the foundation and let this be a skill you develop for ever, everyday, you should be really, really studying your thoughts, becoming more aware of them, really understanding how they are connected to the results you're creating, and the patterns you find yourself in, and what we need to let go of, and start to shape or reshape to drive closer to the results we desire. All right, my friend, that was a biggie. But I hope that you have at least some really great tangibility around this because it starts with your mind, right, we got to really elevate our thinking in order to start to shift our self concept because, right, how we see ourselves is a direct reflection of how other people will see us. So we have to really change that paradigm. And then we can start really getting into strategy will, which is what we're going to do over the next few episodes. So I cannot wait. Just remember you are a category of one you are already undeniable. You already have a thought leader in you today. Let's unpack that. And let's bring more of that into the market. All right, I'll see you next week. Hey, if you're ready to stand out online and get paying clients consistently without having to fumble your way through tag, run ads or create complicated funnels. I want to invite you to join us in the category clean school where you're going to learn my simple, proven formula for getting clients online. It's risk free, you either make your money back or we'll give you a refund. Just head over to KinseyMachos.com/TheCQSchool and join today to get instant access. We will see you inside