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If you’re always worrying about what others think of you — or worse — are playing small because of other people’s judgment, this message is for YOU.

Here’s the deal, friend.

To be frank, what other people think of you is NONE of your business.

Their opinions, their thoughts, and their FEELINGS, have nothing to do with you.

But I get it, it’s easier said than, so let’s study this habit of caring what others think, so I can help you better understand what to do (and what not to do).

Here’s what it comes down to perception, purpose, and people-pleasing.

PERCEPTION

As high-achievers, we tend to be over-analyzers. And part of over-thinking means getting into other people’s heads and thinking we also know everything they are thinking, too. Typically, we “know” that their thoughts are mostly negative about us. Whether it was an encounter you had with someone, something you said or didn’t say, or assuming they’ll judge you for something you do — you’ve already played out an entire scenario of what they’re thinking. As a result, you act a certain way to avoid your perception of what other people will think of you.

When you look at the play-by-play, that sounds crazy, right? Allowing others to control your behavior just by what we think THEY are thinking?

Instead, tune into the things that YOU are saying to yourself. What makes YOU feel good (and what doesn’t)? What will YOU think of yourself if you do (or don’t) something? This is what it means to stay true to you — following your heart and allowing yourself to stay in your own lane.

PURPOSE

When you focus on other people’s thoughts of you (or what you THINK they think of you) you are taking the focus off of your life and your purpose. In other words, you are giving other people the power to choose how you live your life. And this is causing you to play a smaller game in life — instead of a BIG one. You have a big mission to fulfill here on earth, which requires your time and energy. Don’t waste that time and energy worrying about what other people think of you.

If you struggle with this, consider giving yourself an alternative;

Do I care more about what they think of me than I do carrying out my purpose in life?

-or-

Will I have more regrets carrying out my purpose in life than letting other people choose I life?

PEOPLE-PLEASING

Growing up, we’re taught not to hurt other people’s feelings. Some of that’s still valid, but not to the extent that most of us take it. It’s beyond hurting people’s feelings, it’s more or less the fear of rejection on either side.

What if she doesn’t like me?

What if she doesn’t like what I’m doing?

What will she think of me if I do this?

It’s exhausting trying to make everyone happy, isn’t it? What if you focused on making YOU happy? What does that look like? How would you spend your time?

You can’t be everything to everyone. It’s time to put yourself and YOUR feelings at the top of the priority list and let others do the same for themselves.

At the end of they day, other people’s opinions won’t make you happy. And frankly, as a busy, ambitious woman, you don’t have time to worry about it anyway.

Do you, girl.